ir activities are, according to channeled information, the result of detailed discussions with all of the spiritual energies that come into their lives.
I personally find it difficult to reconcile some human behavior such as the man in New York who pulled his toddler daughter out of a vehicle on an expressway and, as others watched, raped her.
The Gnosis and the Law was a book gifted by my mother.Tellis S. Papastavro’s “…soul purpose in publishing this sacred book of illumined Truth was to expand the wisdomand knowledge of God on Earth.”I constantly refer to this book.
In this life, I had a stepfather who throughout the time I lived with him and my mother, would tell me I was not as smart as I thought.Who better than he, an adult, would know?I believed him.He may not have meant it to the extent I translated that, but I thought I was stupid.What if, in Spirit, he and I agreed that he would treat me the way he did so I could surmount any depreciating thoughts that would ultimately burden me to surrender my life?
I felt useless for many years but did what was expected of me.I made no effort to study to pass most of my exams, even the SATs, and God forbid that I ask for money to take the PSATs (“Whaddayahthink, I’m Rockefeller?!”), because “I was stupid.”That was my mantra.I felt and thought that I was stupid.
During a subway ride, a couple of black men told me I should not be reading science fiction.Rather, The Autobiography of Malcolm X should have been my chosen reading material.After that, I used paper bags to cover my books.I opted for peace and quiet rather than to hear more “suggestions.”What if all of the ridicule about all of the kinds of books I enjoyed reading were to strengthen me so one day I would write such books free of racial memory, conditions, and limitations?However, I copped out by hiding the covers of my books.Or perhaps those incidents only needed to happen a couple of times for me to remember them.
I planned to end my life in college.“In the Realm of the Senses” was playing in theatres. There was a scene in which a woman was cleaning blood from the shower walls. I felt I did not want to be someone that had to be cleaned after.I planned to wrap the top of the tub with plastic so that when I slashed my wrists, the blood would hit the cover and run into the drain.I would not, in my last minutes, want to cause anyone more work.
Everything was accounted for. The answering machine would warn callers so the odor of decay would not become offensive. All of my belongings would have been packed and labeled. I would not be a bother and create work for other people.
Feminine Energy by Allison L. Williams Hill
I was really depressed when on this day, I heard a voice say, “Look over there.” I turned to see what the Voice was talking about, let alone respond to a disembodied one. Everything looked the same. “Where?” I said out loud.No answer. The Voice distracted me. The Voice was the failsafe.
I do not intend for this to serve as a suggestion for anyone thinking of ending their life.Rather, if one is in that state of mind, please talk to someone, in or out of the home, or write to me.That was not the purpose of sharing this.If things get to that point, I hope you hear a Voice.I propose that all we endure as we develop serves a purpose.The purpose is not to harden us, it is not to break us down but to strengthen us, to evaporate all of that which would interfere with the reason we are alive: to recognize and live as the powerful beings that ALL of us are.We are all reflections of God.God is the multiplier and she created ALL of us.
Each of us is here for a reason. The Gnosis, or self-knowledge, informs us of our vastness. If that sounds too general and too hard to appreciate, good, because that is how big it is. We are the result of millennia of thought, of conception and, if you will, reverse the reverse engineering: read about the scientists’ efforts to identify DNA and the years of study to understand the minute building blocks that make us human beings through which we learn to understand the metaphysical powers and abilities that are gifts from God.
Allison L. Williams Hill is an artist, designer, planner, healer, Integrative Health Coach, and inventor. She shares her work and services through
Metaphysical Services and Spiritual Art
“Do All Things In-Vesica”
Registered Medium and Spiritual Counselor, Certified Spiritual Healer, Church of Wisdom, and a member of the Holistic Healers/Healing Works Professional Association.
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Health Coach Services
A health coach (or health counselor) is a wellness guide and supportive mentor. Together, we’ll work to achieve your goals in areas such as achieving optimal weight, food cravings, sleep, and energy. Through working with me, you’ll develop a deeper understanding of the foods and lifestyle choices that work best for you and implement lasting changes that will improve your energy, balance, and health.
I practice a holistic approach to health and wellness, which means that I look at how all areas of your life are connected. Does stress at your job or in your relationship cause you to overeat? Does lack of sleep or low energy prevent you from exercising? As we work together, we look at how all parts of your life affect your health as a whole.
I lead workshops on nutrition and offer individual and group health and nutrition counseling. I realized a dream to study at The Institute for Integrative Nutrition and it changed my life. Let me support you to change yours.
