by Allison L. Williams Hill In-Vesica Art Design Energy
“Do All Things In-Vesica.”
(We Are Exquisite Planners in Spirit by Allison L. Williams Hill was originally published on Inner Eden blog pub. August, 2013)
Spirit Is Here by Allison L. Williams Hill
We are exquisite planners in Spirit. Personally, I used to think, “Why on Earth am I here?” several years ago but not anymore.
“Oh yeah, then how could I possibly have wanted this, this (fill in the blank)?!!”
Perhaps you and I did so to learn to access help and, by doing so, learn to overcome it.
Mom was told don’t get pregnant and then some. She was never told, “do.” Nobody told her what she could do. She lived her young life in apprehension, always warned of painful consequences. She would tell me “There isn’t anything you can’t do or be.” She did not tell me how to achieve “anything” because she did not know. Mom was never taught how to plan. She learned how to with us – her four children.
Talking to my mother on a weekend in June 2013 revealed the pain she still experiences after the marriage to my biological father ended over 50 years ago and after his passing 14 years gone. When they went to City Hall to marry, he had to borrow $2.00 from her to pay for the license. That was a sign of things to come.
A similar pattern continued with my stepfather who crossed over almost twice as many years ago and also promised my mother all sorts of things. Mom told me recently that he came to live with her, my younger brother, and me, with a vacuum cleaner and a fish tank. The furniture that I used in our bedroom with my sisters until I left home for college was purchased by my biological father. The contribution my stepfather made was repainting it.
Mom regrets a lot of and in her life. She said something sweet: how she learned from us and never regretted our being here. Mom is over 80 now. I asked her what she wanted to do. I got that she wants to rest and just live.
Mom heard the voices; felt the “advice”; sometimes she listened and followed through on the feeling and other times she did not, as have I. When I ignore the information, the only thing left to do is to adjust to the outcome of the event. I can also appreciate that the help can reach me and I can be more attentive the next time. There is always another opportunity. I think that is the point of living.
How much of this was planned in Spirit? I think it is about what we use to inform ourselves along the way. When I focus on the perceived inequity of my existence, how much of it is actually unfair? If I missed the cues; if I did not comprehend the events; if I was limited in expression; if I had parents who were essentially learning with me and were unable to assist with what I needed, what presents itself is to excavate deeply about what occurred; what was given and what I used.
There is also the realm of what exists beyond the self.
“What have you to say about people living in poverty, then?”
I say: if I know about it and I know there is little they can do for themselves because I know it, it becomes an integral part of my life to help them overcome. As planning is learned and applied, it is knowing all along, within my heart, there is always help, unseen, heard, or felt, that directs me to be alive and remain that way; or to a book, or to walk to a certain place, stand and ask, “What now?” It is a question of when I realize that the help is there to access and use it.
Allison L. Williams Hill is an artist; designer; planner; healer; integrative health coach, and inventor. She shares her work and services through:
“Do All Things In-Vesica.”
